Hello Everyone,
When you live with a big family, whether it be a large number of siblings (all step, half, and whole) or happen to live with aunts, uncles, and cousins. You tend to be into each others business's a lot. Sometimes it just happens because you're around each other so much you either catch ear of something or you can just sense it. However, one thing that most people do that don't even realize it half the time is they push their own opinions into your life choices. Whether its as simple as buying regular milk or soy milk, or its as serious as if you wish to get married to someone. They can become extremely paranoid about what you're doing in your life to where they FORCE you (sometimes without knowing) to do what THEY want you to do, and not what you SHOULD do for yourself.
How to get out of something like this? It's not easy. Not that the people will deny it (which will/can happen), but that they do it because they care so much about you, they want you to go the route they feel is best for you. Whether it could hurt you in the end or not. It helps their guilty conscience to make you do what they want you to do so they feel they did a good deed. Is this wrong? Very much so. However, we're all guilty of it at one time or another. It's just a matter of us catching ourselves doing this bad habit. To catch someone else doing it is a whole different story, because it is that they care. (Or their a control freak, which there is no way to win that one, sorry) So to tell them to stop, to them, its asking them to stop caring. How can you get them to understand?
Again, not easy. You can come up with scenarios that place them into your shoes so they can see what their doing wrong. Or you can just straight up and tell them, in a calm sit down, soft voice, manner...
"Look, I understand you care a lot about what I'm doing or not doing in my life. However, you have to let me make my own mistakes, allow me to live and learn. I'm not asking for you to not care, in fact, what I'm asking is for you to care more. Care for me in the way that you want me to grow up to be a well rounded citizen and I know from experience, what mistakes not to make. I care for you in the same way, I don't want to see you fall, but in order for you to learn to step over an object, you have to learn by tripping once or twice first. But I was still there for you for support, just like how I want you there for me."
If they can't understand any form of that, then they must be control freaks lol. Or they could simply be your parent. Parents do things like that because they simply love and care for their children. Nothing can stop that.
The best and easiest way to handle this sort of situation is to just ignore it. Go about your business as if they have no influence on you. Because while you think and feel they can manipulate you, it is and always will be YOUR ultimate choice to do whatever it is.
And for now I leave you with this.
"If it is to be, it is up to me." - Jack Schofield
YYS
