Hi Everyone,
I've recently come across how awesome Katy Perry is. More particularly her song "Wide Awake". It almost made me cry my eyes out when I first saw the music video, because I did see her movie (which the music video is based off her movie), and it reminded me of every emotion and feeling that I had from my ex husband when he left me. And when I had the realization of a previous relationship. I lived in an illusion life that everything was perfect. Then it hit me...Katy Perry went through that very experience. She was in an ideal marriage with the man of her dreams, a guy who was amazing to her whom she loved and she did anything and everything to keep her marriage alive DURING a year long world tour she was trying to do for her career. He obviously couldn't handle the pressure of it and filed for divorce.
Us as women have a habit of getting used to a guy being there for us. Falling in love fast and heavy because we're scared to be by ourselves. I stayed in a relationship for (I'm not going to put a specific time to protect privacy) a long period of time even though I had known right off the bat, it was a bad idea and wasn't going to last. Sure enough when the bad times started happening, I ignored it. I later admitted to myself it was because I thought it was as good as I was going to get, so I had to deal with all the depression and hardship. After a while I realized I also stayed because I was afraid to be by myself. I didn't need to settle just because it was as good as I was going to get (even if it wasn't) I could be happy alone. And I wouldn't be entirely alone, because I would have my beautiful daughter.
Yes I did start into another relationship rather quickly after that one. And it happens to be the relationship I'm currently in. BUT whenever hard times come, I show how I'm not afraid to be alone, and I think it scares HIM that he'll lose me. And that alone made me realize the biggest picture all women should have.
The power of KNOWING you are perfectly fine by yourself, is a HUGE power alone. Because if he does leave, or if it doesn't work out for whatever reason (be it; stupid, serious, mutual. etc.) You have the ability to walk away with a shield around your heart. Yes all break ups hurt, but you would see how you wouldn't hurt as bad as you would before. Go through the steps of the breakup, sleeping in, over eating junk food, not doing a DAMN thing, or not eating for a day or two, whatever your steps are ALLOW yourself to got through them. Then, one day, wake up and OWN your day, OWN your life, and SHOW your pride that you are single and you LOVE it, because you are not tide down, you don't need a man to hold your hand, to tell you you're beautiful, to blow smoke up your ass so he can act like an ass. You know you're beautiful, you're a gown up woman that doesn't need a hand to hold, that doesn't need ANY of that.
Being independent is sexiest of all, and the greatest feeling of all.
The only problem with this is some women find it as excuses to be just as bad as men, pulling one night stands, making out with a different guy any hour of the day. Being truly independent has nothing to do with any of that. You are just as bad as a man that calls himself a "pick up artist" or a "player". But with women, we are expected to be better then that, so we do get called "sluts" when we pull these moves, claiming "independence" Seriously, those women just give us respectable women a bad name....
Think about TRUE independence, and know its something to be proud of. Even if you are in a relationship :)
For now, I leave you with this...
"How wrong is it for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself?" - Anais Nin
YinYangSakura
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Thursday, June 14, 2012
How bad does shit smell?
Hello everyone,
Long time since I've made a post like this, but something has recently caught my attention that started to make me think. And thinking isn't always good when you have a mind like mine (NEVER stops).
We always say, "shit happens." when anything bad happens to us or a bad situation...basically anything bad, right? Just to make the situation better, or just simply to make yourself feel better. We put up with it (whatever it may be) and settle it or move on, mostly move on. Yet, the "shit" is still there. Have you ever noticed that whenever something like this happens, the situation or moment is never really handled but more ignored/looked over, just so you can move on? I've noticed this 9 out of 10 times I've seen people more-so look over the situation rather than handle it and have it be SOLVED. Mostly in the workplace, but I've seen this in daily lives as well. I've recently found myself in this particular situation.
(To give some perspective to those whom maybe confused as to what I'm talking about, here's an example)
Let's say (for instance), you're a supervisor of your department (be creative). You realize you're short on staff, you go looking around asking your workers what do they know of the people who were all supposed to be there. They don't have an answer for you (as you are the one supposed to know as the supervisor) now people are looking to you for answers why you don't have enough people working. So, you go to your boss for some help. "I'm short of workers today, do you know any one who can come in today on short notice?" And your boss replies with, "Oh yea, 3 people called in sick today, I meant to tell you but forgot. You have one person coming it, but no one else answered their phone." Obviously, this is a bad situation because people were mad at you for not making sure you had the right amount of people, yet it ended up being your boss's fault for being an idiot. You confront your boss, saying its very important and a big deal to make sure you're aware of when issues like that happens. Your boss does the typical nod and "yea yea" while shooing you away, or does the "I'm YOUR boss so let me talk down to you for about 10 minutes just so you know how much bigger I am than you." talk (we all just "love" those huh?). However, the initial situation itself is never really approached, handled, or solved in a manner to where there's a system to follow for the next time it happens. Right?
Same thing in family situations, relationships, friendships. The list goes on and on...
Really this does ultimately go down to that as humans, we like conflict. If we were to really solve everything around us, there would be no conflict. No conflict means no drama, no gossip, no arguing, no yelling, no rushing, no frustration, no stress. Normally one would think all that would be a GREAT things to have without. Ironically though, we as humans can't live without that. Our lives would become TOO routine, and TOO boring without conflict.
To keep our interest in our daily lives, we allow conflicts to arise. We don't call our boss's right away when we feel a sickness coming on (or honestly don't feel like going into work), we don't tell our boyfriends/girlfirends our ex just called us (right away), we DO tell our brother he should get a DNA test on his wife's new baby, we DO let an angry customer get to us, we DO tell our best friend her profile picture makes her look like a skank. We enjoy the rise we get from having arguments, fights, yelling, stress, rushing, and gossip. It gives us a small yet satisfying adrenaline rush and peek to our day.
With relationships, it tends to be different. Either its excuses to end relationships, self esteem issues, fears, or just plain stubbornness. It all depends on the particular situation and how honest the person wants to be about why they're really making mountains out of mole hills.
So whenever you find yourself in these particular situations/issues...just ask yourself, shit does happen, but how bad is it? Is it really worth it?
Truthfully, nothing's worth risking your job, family, or relationship...its all a matter of how bad you want it.
Yin Yang Sakura
Long time since I've made a post like this, but something has recently caught my attention that started to make me think. And thinking isn't always good when you have a mind like mine (NEVER stops).
We always say, "shit happens." when anything bad happens to us or a bad situation...basically anything bad, right? Just to make the situation better, or just simply to make yourself feel better. We put up with it (whatever it may be) and settle it or move on, mostly move on. Yet, the "shit" is still there. Have you ever noticed that whenever something like this happens, the situation or moment is never really handled but more ignored/looked over, just so you can move on? I've noticed this 9 out of 10 times I've seen people more-so look over the situation rather than handle it and have it be SOLVED. Mostly in the workplace, but I've seen this in daily lives as well. I've recently found myself in this particular situation.
(To give some perspective to those whom maybe confused as to what I'm talking about, here's an example)
Let's say (for instance), you're a supervisor of your department (be creative). You realize you're short on staff, you go looking around asking your workers what do they know of the people who were all supposed to be there. They don't have an answer for you (as you are the one supposed to know as the supervisor) now people are looking to you for answers why you don't have enough people working. So, you go to your boss for some help. "I'm short of workers today, do you know any one who can come in today on short notice?" And your boss replies with, "Oh yea, 3 people called in sick today, I meant to tell you but forgot. You have one person coming it, but no one else answered their phone." Obviously, this is a bad situation because people were mad at you for not making sure you had the right amount of people, yet it ended up being your boss's fault for being an idiot. You confront your boss, saying its very important and a big deal to make sure you're aware of when issues like that happens. Your boss does the typical nod and "yea yea" while shooing you away, or does the "I'm YOUR boss so let me talk down to you for about 10 minutes just so you know how much bigger I am than you." talk (we all just "love" those huh?). However, the initial situation itself is never really approached, handled, or solved in a manner to where there's a system to follow for the next time it happens. Right?
Same thing in family situations, relationships, friendships. The list goes on and on...
Really this does ultimately go down to that as humans, we like conflict. If we were to really solve everything around us, there would be no conflict. No conflict means no drama, no gossip, no arguing, no yelling, no rushing, no frustration, no stress. Normally one would think all that would be a GREAT things to have without. Ironically though, we as humans can't live without that. Our lives would become TOO routine, and TOO boring without conflict.
To keep our interest in our daily lives, we allow conflicts to arise. We don't call our boss's right away when we feel a sickness coming on (or honestly don't feel like going into work), we don't tell our boyfriends/girlfirends our ex just called us (right away), we DO tell our brother he should get a DNA test on his wife's new baby, we DO let an angry customer get to us, we DO tell our best friend her profile picture makes her look like a skank. We enjoy the rise we get from having arguments, fights, yelling, stress, rushing, and gossip. It gives us a small yet satisfying adrenaline rush and peek to our day.
With relationships, it tends to be different. Either its excuses to end relationships, self esteem issues, fears, or just plain stubbornness. It all depends on the particular situation and how honest the person wants to be about why they're really making mountains out of mole hills.
So whenever you find yourself in these particular situations/issues...just ask yourself, shit does happen, but how bad is it? Is it really worth it?
Truthfully, nothing's worth risking your job, family, or relationship...its all a matter of how bad you want it.
For now I leave you with this
"Forgiveness is looking past the darkness to see the
Light the darkness was made to hide. The Light simply
shines the darkness away." Charles HenryYin Yang Sakura
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