Hello everyone,
Naturally being a pessimistic person, I have a hard time staying cheerful or just naturally happy. Often I find myself asking …
“What’s there to be so happy about?”
Of course without a doubt the answer is always, my baby. But let’s be honest here and as we all know (to those that are parents) it doesn’t always change the way you feel. Yea it makes it worth waking up the next day for, but mixed with the screaming the whining, the “mommy mommy mommy mommy, momma momma momma momma momma, mom mom mom mom mom mom” and the consistently getting into stuff they know they shouldn’t. It doesn’t help lighten the mood.
So I turn to a few very happy memories of mine that I have with my idol Kyo. He is the singer in Dir En Grey, a Japanese heavy metal/rock band, it’s my favorite band ever. I listen to them when I’m pissed, happy, even sad. They keep me sane and sometimes they vent for me. With Kyo’s intense screaming and passionate singing with the morbid lyrics. I feel that Kyo and I could really get along well if we could sit down and talk (I’ve met him twice now.) His morbidity is very close to my own, just ask any of my close friends and ex husband.
The first time I met him was by chance in 2007. I went to a Deftones concert that had Dir En Grey headlining for them. I was freshly 18 and freaked out that I was finally going to see the one band I was obsessed about in concert. I regrettably had bought two tickets and was left to bring someone that nearly ruined the night for me. I had saved up my paychecks to be able to go crazy on merchandise. As I got there I found out quickly how much money I really SHOULD have saved. (Concerts are not cheap.) As I was at the counter I quickly noticed a colorful hand made small sign that said “Meet Dir En Grey after their performance!” So I quickly asked the sales woman.
“Is that sign for real???” I asked as I pointed it out.
“Oh yes, right after their performance, they’re gonna set up a table right here and sign stuff.” She said casually. My heart skipped several beats as I couldn’t breathe. Oh ehm gee. I was freaking out with joy! As I sat through a horrible band named “Fall of Troy” or “Fall out Troy”. Honestly I didn’t care for them and didn’t think they sounded very good at all. It was a bunch of unorganized noise. I applauded for them leaving the stage when they finished.
Then in much anticipation waiting for Dir En Grey, the back drop sign fell to reveal “Dir En Grey” written. And of course, the crowd went crazy, as did I. Their performance was amazing as I had hoped it would be, and even better. Kyo’s performance was nothing short of incredible. He does self mutilate on stage, and yes he did for us as well. I only had wished I was in the pits where all the joy truly was.
As soon as it was over I quickly grabbed my stuff and ran out where the line for the autographs had just started. I knew we weren’t going to meet all of Dir En Grey, but I had high hopes. While waiting in line I had no idea that a small blond head that had passed my right in the corner of my eye, was in fact Kyo! I quickly looked as he had already passed me and we all started cheering for him. I was so glad it was him, as you could imagine my admiration for him I was fully pleased that he was there alone. Don’t get me wrong, it’s always great to meet the whole band with any group, but as my first concert and celebrity to have met, I’m so glad it was Kyo alone. I quickly dug through my purse realizing that I needed something to have him sign. I tried to find my ticket and all I could find was the envelope it came in. So I figured it would have to do. I handed it to the grumpy and rushing people who gave it to Kyo as I stood in front of him. He signed my awkward piece and as he gave it back I said “Arigatou gozaimashita” which in that form means, thank you very much for everything (its what you would say at the end of something to thank someone for whatever it is they did.) As I said it with a bow, he looked up at me and gave a very nice smile to me. My heart fluttered as I walked away returning my own smile to him. I could see in the corner of my eye, his eyes following me walk away. These random, yet very nice girls, had asked to see my autograph and they all squealed with and for me. Then one girl came up very loudly (I’m sure because of jealousy) and said.
“He smiled at you!” I could see a genuine smile on her face, even though she openly admitted her jealousy.
“WHAT?!” All the other girls gasped and quickly looked at me with wide eyes.
“Yea he did, it was a very lovely smile.” I grinned ear to ear. They all hugged me in celebration for my apparent success. (For those that don’t know, Kyo never smiles unless he has reason to. Ex, a joke, or someone has said something worthy of smiling at) I got one more autograph from him but didn’t say anything the second time, for the guards/workers were getting tired and rushing us people a little too much. So that was the extent of meeting Kyo for the first time.
The second time was just this month. September 7th to be exact. It was a Tuesday, odd day of the week to have a concert, yet I had bought the ticket over a month before. I was wanting to buy two tickets, but at the time I didn’t know of anyone that lived in the same city that liked Dir En Grey. After talking with my ex husband about it (since he was the one funding for the purchase) he had said that I deserved to do something alone and for myself. He asked if there was a VIP, and there was, so he convinced me to get it. I realized the VIP came with a meet and greet as well as a bunch of free merchandise. I was very happy that he did that for me.
While I was waiting in line, I had met these two 17 year old Dir En Grey fans. They were very sweet and very cool. We talked about our previous concerts which it was their second concert as well as my own. So our talk only went so far. But then the security guy came through checking us for camera’s and if any of us were 21. I got my wrist band and soon after we were separated from VIP to regular and brought through. We were then separated from Dir En Grey and Apocalyptica (I may have spelt that wrong), as the lady was explaining what was to happen (we all pretended to hear) we were handed our merchandise, as I look up I’m the first to notice Shinya walk up, then to follow was Kaoru, Die, Kyo then Toshiya. I was so SHOCKED to have seen them all up there like that. They looked tired and bored from doing the same thing over and over again but I’m sure they do still get their enjoyment with being around their fans (Dir En Grey’s been around for over 10 years mind you). We were asked random questions as a group to answer. One of which I remember clearly because of what happened.
“What’s your favorite song?” the lady asked us.
“The Final.” I was one of the first to answer. Lots of people agreed then went on to say other songs.
We then were randomly picked to ask the group a question. I was not picked sadly. But we then were told we could take a picture with Dir En Grey and shake their hands. I was starting to become nervous. I waited till near the end of the group to take my picture as I watched everyone else take their picture and shake the groups hand. When I went up the girl in front of me did not have a camera so she just wanted to shake their hands. As I handed the translator lady my phone on the camera mode she told me to go ahead and shake their hands first. So I did, I shook each of their hands saying “Hajimemashite Sara desu.” Which means “Nice to meet you, I’m Sara.” With a slight bow of course, I started with Shinya, Die, Kaoru, then Kyo…I had heard the young girls say that Kyo has a strong hand shake, but I was very much caught off guard. His hand shake was VERY strong. After I introduced myself I paused and looked back and forth from our hands to him and to our hands again, I was gonna say “wow you’re strong.” But I didn’t want to look like an idiot so I moved on to Toshiya then took my picture. After the picture I turned to them, bowed and thanked them (in Japanese of course) and grabbed my phone back to see the picture. As I turned around to look at the group as my lagging phone loads, I noticed Kyo’s eyes were already on me. And they stayed on me for a few seconds longer, to where the intimidation got to me. I lowered my head and pretended to be doing something on my phone. I had said to the girls.
“Kyo’s eyes are intense.”
“Oh no, I think he has beautiful eyes and a soft face.” They replied.
“No no…they’re intense.” I silently stated as they finished and walked back.
During the concert there was a time that I couldn’t pick out the song that was starting, but it sounded so very familiar. I looked up from my phone (I was recording and taking pictures off and on) and again, Kyo’s eyes were right on me. I know this because during this time, there was enough space around me to where I could tell if Kyo was looking at other people. He was looking right at me for several seconds, and as soon as I knew what song it was, he dropped his arms and turned away. It was The Final. I screamed in joy and finished enjoying my night.
Yes we all wish that we are secretly destined to be with a celebrity or just a person we truly love/like/admire. I do wish that at some time I get to sit down and have a heart to heart talk with Kyo…with the help of a translator. But I know it won’t happen lol. It doesn’t hurt to wish for it!
I am a dork, I don’t care.
Enjoy all of your great memories that keep you in a cheerful mood. And don’t ever regret anything that happens in your life, we learn from our mistakes and they make us the person we are today.
For now I leave you with this….
“My toast always lands butter side up!” Kari from Mythbusters
Yin Yang Sakura
