Hello everyone...
I am here to bitch/vent/complain/release...::sigh:: all that and possibly more....
As some of you may know, I have been going through some personal issues with my ex husband. As of late, I have let go of my past and decided to allow myself to go through whatever phases I was to experience in my new single life. However, as a lot of things do happen, my plans ended up taking a surprising turn. I had been catching up with an old and very dear friend of mine. One night I ended up sending him to the hospital, (he had his appendix removed, he's better now) and we started spending a LOT of time together. I was there for him during personal and physical issues he was going through and we ended up developing feelings for each other. Like I said, this was not a planned thing. We have been friends for over 9 years so naturally we're very close. With everything that the both of us have been through we ended up leaning on each other for support and other feelings came with that.
We have been taking things very slowly. And so slow in such a way that both of us are very comfortable with the pace we're going. However...My parents have been interceding to prevent me from having any sort of relationship with anyone before I'm officially divorced. Now keep in mind, my ex is already moved on, HAS been already moved on. He's been living with his "friend" for a couple of months now. That being said, I have felt it is time and OK for me to move on in my life. NOPE....my parents have been keeping him at bay from getting any closer or at any comfortable spot in my life. I understand that my parents are protective of my daughter (They honestly don't give a shit about me. I'm not saying this to be mean, I'm saying this because its true. Nothing that they have said of their concerns have been anything about me, but for my daughter) but they need to trust me as her MOTHER that I will make the right decisions...I'm naturally a cautious person, I grew up having no friends and constantly bullied. So I have grown to have trust issues with people I don't know. Now instead of me meeting some stranger and dating them, I have found a more meaningful attachment to someone that I have known and trusted for years. So you'd think they would trust my opinion since I have such trust issues with people? Oh hell no...of course not...why would they trust me?....According to them, I have been reckless and irresponsible with my choices and they have no reason to trust me with bringing someone new around.
But here's my problem with that...HE'S NOT NEW. He has been a loyal and wonderful friend for 9 YEARS. He is one of my very few BEST friends. I have more trust in him than I ever had in my ex husband (sadly). They should be able to trust my judgment and instead of keeping me from happiness, they should be happy for me.
Sorry...had to vent all this...I was ready to hit something >.>....no I don't have anger issues, I just vent differently...lol
For now I leave you with this...
"Every time I bleed, there lies the reason to live." Dir En Grey, The Final
Yin Yang Sakura
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